Thursday, January 29, 2004

Anti-War Protesters Finally Enjoy Feelings of Superiority Over Their Pro-War Co-Workers

Anti-war protestors are standing tall in their workplaces this week, as word spreads of former chief weapons inspector David A. Kay's assessment that Iraq does not have weapons of mass destruction. "We were all wrong," he told the Senate Armed Services Committee earlier this week.

"And that means we were all right," beamed 24 year old Sara Parks of the Wilmington, DE branch office of Citigroup. "I can't wait to tell my jackass supervisor."

The news has galvanized many employees to be more vocal about their objections to the war, prompting them to brandish the wide-spread governmental failure as proof that they were right, and, just as crucially, that their pro-war co-workers were wrong.

"I had to listen to this asshole in my department every day about how we were going to kick the shit out of Iraq," said Jacob Hall, a 30 year old programmer at Level3 Communications, Inc. in Denver, CO. "He's really changed his tune lately, and I'm loving every minute of it."

Dr. Karl Rosen, a psychologist at Miami University of Ohio, examines the coping mechanisms of people who previously supported a war when they learn of its terrific wrong-ness.

"Typically there are two responses, and these can be attributed to two different personality groups. The first group basically isn't interested, but they go along with it because it's the safest route. Congress is a good example. This group will usually retreat from a previously held position when the majority opinion also retreats from it. The second group is more personally invested in war ideology. They are more obstinate in their views, kind of like Joseph Stalin. They will always revert to World War II analogies whenever their contemporary arguments are baseless--which is approximately 200 percent of the time."

Mark Thompson, a 28 year old developer at IBM, explains his own disappointment with the outcome of the war: "It's terrible to think that after so many Americans have died, and so much money has been wasted, and so many of us have been deceived, now I've gotta hear about it from a bunch of pot-smoking, countercultural posers."

Sara Parks says that even in the midst of a nationwide vindication, it's important for the anti-war crowd not to lose perspective.

"What anti-war people were really protesting wasn't the asinine claim that Iraq posed an imminent threat to the security of the planet, or the fiscal burden our children will have to bear for a bullshit war, or even the catastrophic loss of life that a US led invasion would obviously inflict on Iraqis and Americans alike; it was having to show up to work everyday and suffer the smug jackassery that people who have never had an independent thought in their entire life necessarily impose on their infinitely more enlightened co-workers."
Peter Jennings Defends Presidential Honor

Peter Jennings charged Michael Moore with being offensive last week, when the documentary filmmaker and author endorsed Democratic presidential candidate Wesley Clark, calling for a "smackdown" debate between "The General" and "The Deserter," President George W. Bush.

"That's a reckless charge not supported by the facts," Jennings told Clark during a nationally televised debate last Thursday. "According to the United States Army, a missing soldier is considered AWOL until the 31st day of his absence, at which time his status is changed to desertion. There's absolutely no evidence that our president was absent from service for more than a month at a time. You should pick your endorsements more carefully, Herr Clark."
The Dark Horse

Here's an article promoting last night's show at the Dark Horse Tavern at State College. We had people in attendance for George's political commentary alone.
National Public Radio

"Warm Body" appears on NPR's online music show, All Songs Considered.
Bush: "Saddam was a really bad man."

President Bush told the country today that Saddam Hussein, while possessing no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, was still an extremely bad person.

"He was bad."

The president's remarks come on the heels of former chief weapons inspector David A. Kay's declaration that Iraq did not have chemical or biological weapons.

"It turns out we were all wrong," he told the Senate Armed Services Committee yesterday. "Iraq wasn't a threat, unless you consider not having any weapons a threat, in which case the argument could be made that Iraq was indeed a threat."

Meanwhile, at the White House, the Bush administration has defended their decision to go to war.

"Saddam was bad," President Bush said yesterday. "He was a dangerous man in a dangerous, Arabic part of the world. He was a gathering threat to America and others. He just hadn't gathered very much."

White House spokesman Scott McClellan summarized the administration's position on the war, in light of the recent findings: "Bad people do bad things, and frequently this has negative effects. In this case, the United States made the tough decision to fight a man who was bad--weaponless, perhaps--but still, very bad. While the rest of the world stood united for peace, only a freedom-loving people such as ourselves could make the case for war against a bad, weaponless man. We weren't afraid to make the hard choices."

Monday, January 26, 2004

American Inspector Says No Weapons in Iraq

"The Bush administration cannot justify the war in Iraq as a humanitarian intervention, and neither can Tony Blair."

Kenneth Roth, Human Rights Watch

Saturday, January 24, 2004

United We Stand, Passively Mute

America stands united. Alone in the world, America stands united. You are either with us or against us!

America stands united against terrorism. We are afraid.

America stands united against evil. We overlook evil, we do evil, we have every right.

America stands united for security. Protect us from a dangerous world.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

And Beer and Cigarettes for All

During this year's Super Bowl, you'll see ads sponsored by beer companies, tobacco companies, and the Bush White House. But you won't see the winning ad in Voter Fund's Bush in 30 Seconds ad contest. CBS refuses to air it.

The Winning Ad

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Bush Visits MLK Tomb; Hundreds Attend, Vomit

ABC News

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Bush Calls for Manned Expedition to Mars, Residences on Moon

Hey, I like space more than any of my ex-girlfriends, but what's wrong with this chooch? I thought men in space--dead men in space--was out this year and death-resistant robots were in? Who the hell wants to go to Mars anyway? I don't even want to leave my bedroom. Of course, we all know who to nominate for that manned-mission to Mars--or as he likes to call it "home."

And dormitories on the moon? What the moon really lacks isn't just dormitories, it's arable land--as a matter of fact, it's air! That's no place for low-income housing, unless you're moving from Los Angeles.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

It is to Laugh!

"It's laughable to suggest that the administration was planning an invasion of Iraq that shortly after coming to office," a White House official said Monday when asked about Mr. O'Neill's account. Ha ha!

The New York Times
US Army Opposes War, but "Supports Troops"

This one I found really interesting: a US Army report detailing why invading Iraq was "really fucking dumb" and criticizing the Bush administration for "being so fucking stupid" to actually do it. The Army was quick to point out that while they now oppose the war, they "still support our troops."

The New York Times


San Francisco Chronicle

The Guardian UK

Monday, January 12, 2004

Holy Shit!: Former Cabinet Member Says Iraq Invasion Planned Pre-9/11

Former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill told 60 Minutes yesterday that invading Iraq was a central theme at the very first meeting of the National Security Council--eight months before 9/11. "It was all about finding a way to do it. That was the tone of it. The president saying 'Go find me a way to do this.'"

"The treasury secretary is not in the position to have access to that kind of information," said one senior White House official.

Except that this treasury secretary disclosed 19,000 internal documents to Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist Ron Suskind, whose new book, The Price of Loyalty, comes out tomorrow. "[O'Neill] got every file from [CIA Director] George Tenet," Suskind says. One in particular, dated March 5, 2001, and entitled "Foreign Suitors for Iraqi Oilfield contracts," includes a map of potential areas for exploration.

“It talks about contractors around the world from, you know, 30-40 countries. And which ones have what intentions,” says Suskind. “On oil in Iraq.”

Read more:

60 Minutes


The New York Times

CNN, two hours ago

Reuters, one hour ago

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Dear George: Where is the Terror that You Promised Us?

Since 9/11 George Bush has campaigned on the promise of additional terrorist attacks against US targets. He created the national color-coded alert system, which allow Americans to experience varying levels of anxiety prior to a potential attack. But strange as it may seem, the US is hardly ever attacked, unless of course we count the Bill of Rights--but that is another discussion all together. For now let us content ourselves with the idea that terrorism is not, as Donald Rumsfeld once put it, "an act which involves civilians," but instead, as I like to say, an act by swarthy foreigners of non-Christian descent, who hate us for our a). greatness; b.) freedoms; c.) global benevolence.

Terror was very much in the air this Christmas season, only not in the form of germ warfare on the streets of Philadelphia, where I had hoped to slow the gentrification of my neighborhood. Instead, it came in the form of Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge raising the national alert status to orange, "to send a message to the terrorists of goodwill and resolve." And yet New Year's came and went, and still no terrorist takers. This is not to say that terrorists aren't "everywhere," or that Al-Queda isn't quietly amassing twenty-five people to blow up something else down the line; but, really, if dying is to be my vocation in this life, I would rather take my chances on I-95 than waste my time waiting for the terrorist lottery to pay off in silver dollars. I may be something of a cynic, but I think our president holds out a bit too much faith in Al-Queda to undermine the American way of life when his own cabinet has proved themselves so much more capable in this regard.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004


Atheists are the only people who can afford to live without God.

Sunday, January 04, 2004


When presented with images of terrifying events, people tend to miscalculate their probability. A single memorable image -- of the World Trade Center collapsing, for example -- will crowd out less visually dramatic risks in the public mind. This explains why people overestimate the frequency of deaths from disasters like floods and fire and underestimate the frequency of deaths from more mundane threats like diabetes and strokes.

How can we protect ourselves from our psychological vulnerabilities? First, we can turn off the TV. A study of psychological responses to 9/11 found that, two months after the attacks, 17 percent of the American population outside New York City reported symptoms of post-traumatic stress related to 9/11. High levels of stress were especially notable in those who watched a lot of television. This anxiety is only heightened by cable networks, which have converted themselves into 24-hour purveyors of alarm.

--Jeffrey Rosen

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Chronicles of 'Dis Ent

by Treebeard

Some time ago I began to wonder how snowmobiliers dared to pass through my woods so freely. Only lately did I guess a small Bush was to blame, and that long ago his father, the "Great Bush," had been spying out all the ways, and discovering a means to disparage myself and my fellow trees. He and his foul folk have been making havoc ever since, burrowing their wicked tracks through Yellowstone, and spoiling our air with unregulated canisters of fire. Brm, hoom! Good trees, these, and the many others that breathe laboriously under the mischief of this little Bush. So remote is his wisdom in living things, he sways to power like a sapling to the sun; and like evil he fashions himself under the banner of the righteous and the good, while in truth his purpose is carried on a fell wind.