Nine: Prelude to a Disaster


"That was Debbie again," Maureen reported.

"Ah."

"She says New York has gone to code cadmium orange-lite with just a smidge of alizarin crimson."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means a heightened possibility for a terrorist attack. And she says they'll be going after soft targets, like hotels and restaurants."

"Oh god, look at this place--it's one big soft target. Even this bed is soft."

"It's a little disconcerting."

"Well, what do we do? Ask for a discount?"

"No, snoopy, the Hotel doesn't discount for terrorism. That's just letting the terrorists win."

"Look, I'm from Philadelphia. I don't believe in terrorism. I believe in discounts."

"Well, that's how management here feels. They can't let the terrorists win."

"Let them win? What the hell does that mean, anyway? Are they trying to break into the hotel business?"

"They're trying to blow up the hotel business."

"Right. Well, I should probably get going. I have to work Monday."

"I'm sorry, lambchop," Maureen said, taking my arm. "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, you're perfectly all right."

"But all the talk of terrorism... did I frighten you?"

"Look, I'm from Philadelphia. I'm not afraid of dying in a fiery catastrophe. I just don't want to be here when it happens."

"Honey, we've been dealing with this for two years. The staff is taking every precaution to screen the items and people who come into the hotel."

"They're not doing us any favors letting people like me spend the night. God, I'm thirsty. Didn't we get any water to go with our alcohol?"

"There's some bottled water, but it's warm now."

"Do we have any ice?"

"We did. There's an ice machine at the end of the hall, though. Would you be a dear and get us some more?"

A fresh wave of anxiety seized me. "What? You mean out in the hallway?"

"Yes, boy-toy, right at the end of the hallway. I would order more from room service but I'd rather not be their singular source of entertainment for the evening."

"Won't you come with me? I don't know where you mean exactly."

"Silly, it's right at the end of the hall. Just make a left and follow the lights. Here, take our ice bucket," she said. "I would get it myself but I don't want to run into you-know-who."

"Your boss?"

"That's right."

"Well, I don't want to run into your boss, either. At least if you came with me it would be two against one. Besides, can't he just look you up on the register? He's probably lurking out there right now, ready to bludgeon the first person who steps out of the door."

"He's with the restaurant, not the hotel. Whatever he's heard he won't be able to verify. The hotel manager tonight is my buddy," Maureen winked.

Reluctantly I got up. I was all out of sorts, frankly.

"You don't have a flashlight or anything?"

"Sorry, hon."

"Okay," I said dejectedly. "But listen, keep the door locked and don't open it for anyone--not even me, unless I'm screaming 'Open the door!' Then open it quickly."

"Go get 'em, tiger."